Okay, so there is this movie that nerds who live in their moms basement watch to masturbate to, called Star Wars. I’m going to watch it now to see what all the fuss is about.
There is some shit scrolling across the screen, talking about civil war and spaceships, and destroying a planet, restoring freedom. I get it, it’s the same story that’s been told a million times.
Whoa, there are spaceships in this movie, but it was a long long time ago. My mind is blown already. We don’t even have spaceships in 2010. We don’t even have lasers for weapons yet.
Okay, at least this gets into the action quicker than that Lord of the Nerds Rings movie does. There is a giant spaceship shooting lasers at a smaller spaceship. We see inside the small spaceship Two Golden Colored Robots, one looks male, one looks female, and their robot child, that looks nothing like them.
First lines of the movie, “Did you hear that? They shut(shot?) down the main reactor, we’ll be destroyed for sure. This is madness!!!!!!“. 
The robot child with a domeshaped head talks in computer language or something, while the other one can talk.
Their ship gets pulled into the big one, and some white robots come charging in, laser guns blazing, humans return fire. Every single one of the humans are the worst shot in history. They kill the first white robot that comes in, but can’t manage to hit the flood of other robots that follow. Meanwhile, the robots wreck the shit out of the humans. I would have given my gun to the Gold Robots to fight for me.
Okay, they managed to kill a few more. A Black Robot with a penis shaped head comes down the hallway. He must be in charge or something, because the white robots snap to attention. I guess a long long time ago, they discovered how to make lasers and spaceships, but did not figure out how to make camouflage. Honestly, white and black? The Black Robot King repeats Oh-Burr over and over.
Some chick puts a floppy disk into the robot child’s mouth, and we learn he is called R2D2. The chick is mildly attractive, I give her a 5/10, she lost a point because of the ear muff hair style.
The Black Robot King chokes a human, trying to get information about plans of some kind, then throws him against a wall.
The chick seems to be part retarded. She peeks around a corner, sees a few white robots coming her way, but doesn’t fire her enormous laser pistol at them right away. The robots say “There’s one” and capture her. It’s called Line of Sight, moron.
A bunch of nerd dialogue takes place between the Robot King and the chick. Rebel spies, plans, imperial senate, rebel alliance, etc.
Some humans work for the Robot King, I assume they haven’t been fully assimilated by the Borg Robots.
I paused to write what I feel the story is about. The Robots are taking over the universe and assimilating humans into robots. Some humans are left, collectively known as the Rebels, and they have a secret plan to destroy the robots.
R2D2 and the gold robot are walking through the desert. They jabber in robot talk, I pay no attention to what is said. The robots are stupid and split up.
The domehead robot gets caught by some midgets that say shit like, “Woo-tee-nee” and “Oww-oow-oww” He gets taken to a room where there are a bunch of weird looking other robots, and is reunited with the Gold Robot. I think I see Wall-E
So the midgets find robots and sell them to humans who live in the middle of the desert. Some of the robots look like they serve no purpose.
This guy buys some Robots and tells “Luke” to take them somewhere. Luke is a whiny bitch about it.
The Gold robot seems to be programmed to bitch all the time. He also has a concept of god, as he says, “Thank the maker”. That is probably why the robots take over the universe, we gave them too much knowledge.
R2d2 plays a video from a projector in his head, it’s the chick with ear muff hair, she says, “Oh, be one kanobe, You’re my only hope.” I conclude that r2d2 is a movie player robot.
I think Luke is the dick from Karate Kid, who gets his ass kicked by Daniel with the crane move. If not, they are brothers for sure.
A bunch of pointless scenes happen. Like eating dinner, Luke complaining, etc.
R2d2 has sensors that let him pick up lifeforms, which he probably should have used so he wouldn’t get caught by the midget robot sellers. He uses it now though, but it’s too late, “Sand People” attack. Some old dude saves them.
OB1 gives Luke a laser sword. Why use laser guns when you can use a laser sword, right? The old man rambles on about energy and the force and power. Robot plays another movie.
(I took a few sleeping pills to try and go to bed. I’ll probably miss half of what I’m supposed to get out of this movie. Why don’t they remake this or something? The computer graphics in this are fucking shitty. At least go back with computers and make the graphics better.)
There is a meeting between some humans and The Robot King. One human grows a pair of nuts and talks shit to The Robot King. The Robot King uses some sort of robot power wave to choke the stupid human. Don’t talk smack to the Robot King. He says that famous quote at this time.
Luke goes home, but his weird dome houses are on fire.
40 minutes in: So far, I have seen nothing in this movie that should give a nerd an erection or make a female nerds vagina wet.
OB1, Luke and the two robots go to some town. They are stopped by some of the White Robot Soldiers. OB1 waves his hand and makes the robots do what he wants. He should find the Robot King and just do that to him. Universe War over. The End.
They go to a bar…because, why the fuck not right? A bunch of really weird aliens are in there too, including one that is all hair.
A man with a pigs nose and one with a butt chin, tries to start a fight with Luke, OB1 chops his arm off with a laser sword.
There is a meeting between the hair creature(I think he is a werewolf), Hand Sulu (who is really Indiana Jones), and OB1. Indiana Jones shoots a blue alien and kills it.
This movie sucks, Star Trek is like 100,000 times better. 50 minutes in and it’s just a bunch of Robots and weird looking aliens.
The White Robot Soldiers attack Hand Sulu’s ship, but Hand Sulu says, “Warp Speed Ahead” and they fly off.
The Robot King flexes his nuts to the chick, and blows up an entire planet with giant green laser beam. Why not just use it on every planet and win the Universe War?
Half way done. This is boring, it makes Lord of the Rings seem fucking amazing. I’m going to bed. Night nerds.
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